Most people I help recover from porn-induced sexual dysfunction don’t even realize they have a problem until they’re in their 20s or 30s. The young man in today’s story discovered he had erectile dysfunction at 15 and recovered from it by 17. It wasn’t quick or easy, but if he can do it then so can you.
The full text of Anon’s letter is below in italics. My comments are in bold.
I’m 17 years old.
I probably started porn at 9/10 years old, full blown addiction from then, jerked off every day, maybe 3 times a day at most sometimes, and I mean every day. First my morning erection went away at 14, then I wasn’t really interested in girls. I liked them but never thought of them sexually (still no red flags). I could never get erections while making out with my girlfriend around that time either. I thought maybe I just need to have sex. All this time my porn habits were getting more uncontrollable and darker.
This is a process that many boys are in the midst of right now. That’s why it is so important that we have these conversations and educate our young people about the potential dangers of porn.
I turned down many sexual relationships because porn was just so much easier. Eventually at 15 years old, I was with a woman and could not get the slightest erection the whole time. Most embarrassing stuff ever btw. I went home and tested with porn(boom fine). I Googled it, and we know how that story goes: they tell you its nerves, or its in your head, then as if by some miracle , we discover Gary Wilson’s TED talk, which introduced us to Gabe Deem and Noah Church .
Like I’m reading my own story. Except the part about finding myself.
At first I was skeptical and didn’t take it seriously, until when I try to quit, it was the hardest thing in my life up til this point. It took me about 6 months of relapse until I said enough is enough. Some guys lack motivation to go on, but I was genuinely afraid that I damaged my body permanently, so that was enough for me to push through.
It’s impossible to know if you’re addicted to something until you realize it’s harming you and try to quit. If you struggle for six months or more to stay away from it, then it’s time to learn about addiction and recovery. Take the porn addiction test here.
The first 6 months were hell, dead penis and no sex drive whatsoever. It was terrifying not knowing the outcome. I even considered it might be a physical problem, but I never got erectile dysfunction while clicking on a 100+ videos, in my hour-long masturbation sessions. Yes, my case was pretty severe. The only light of hope I had was my morning erections, which returned at month 2, but they’re still on and off, sometimes I get it for weeks, then off for weeks, and so the cycle goes. Its probably my body healing from the excessive masturbation and porn, so I understand this.
When they don’t see significant progress within 90 days, some guys are discouraged, give up hope, and go back to porn. But it’s very common to take twice that long or more in order to start seeing gains.
Anyways a little bit of libido surfaced at month 6 and I tried for sex. I wasn’t able to penetrate but it was the first time I was able to get oral sex. To be honest, I was hard enough to penetrate at first but we were taking things at too slow of a pace for me and I lost interest. This relationship did not last long because it was just a one time thing. I was looking for women to rewire with. I was 16 at this encounter btw.
The first 6 months of my reboot was no pmo. But after that I introduced masturbation (very limited) to see how it would affect me. It lowered my sex drive for like 2 weeks each time, so wouldn’t recommend.
Pornfree masturbation has different effects on different people at different times in their recovery. While it’s a perfectly legitimate choice to abstain from masturbation entirely, it is something that should be considered separately from porn use. Learn more from this video or article.
I kept trying to rewire but things were hard, since it’s a pandemic, and people aren’t willing to leave their house much. Anyways after a total of 10 months rebooting, I’ve found someone to help me rewire. I was able to have sex on our first date!!! Even though it wasn’t great, it was a start!
Second date, oh boy, sex felt so natural!! I managed to have sex 3 times in a row and could’ve done 4 but she couldn’t handle it. 100% erections and stamina increased with each round, it worked great. Healing isn’t totally done though. I still have some time before it’s unquestionably healed, but today was a big step up from mediocre erections and completely failing 10 months ago every time. I went from zero to 100.
Not everyone will experience success as quickly as this when they start rewiring with a regular partner, but after a long enough reboot it is very possible. Learn more rewiring tips from this video or article.
I only wanted to write this story until I was sure I can keep having sex without a problem, Remember I had severe pied and I came into this a virgin, which makes it all the much harder with no sexual experience. Now I think I’m ready to share.
I tried to keep my story short but I really hope this helps someone
Congratulations, Anon! You spent a big chunk of your childhood heavily conditioning yourself to porn and it took you about a year and a half to break your need for porn and then heal, but you have achieved it. Thank you for sharing your story with the rest of us.