In this video coaching newsletter I respond to a gentleman (Anon) who believes he has severe porn-induced erectile dysfunction to the point of being unable to achieve an erection even with porn. He asks me if this indicates some other physical problem and wonders how to go about achieving full recovery.
The full text of his message to me is below in italics. My comments are in bold.
First of all, I just want to thank you for everything you did to help the people like me. I read your book (not all parts but most of it) and I found a lot of helpful advice, same in your videos.
That’s what I’m here for. Don’t worry, you’re not alone in this.
But, I would just like to ask you if you could give me more information or if you made a video about Severe Pied because I believe I have that or either it is a physical problem (although I highly doubt it but I will go see a doctor just in case).
If there’s any suspicion that there may be a physical problem or some other malady that’s causing sexual difficulties, I always recommend seeing a physician and getting checked out. If something else is going on it’s better to catch it and address it sooner rather than later. Just be aware that depending on who you see, your doctor may not be aware of PIED and could tell you that it’s all in your head and prescribe your ED medications to help you perform through anxiety. However, if you have PIED then ED medications are not the answer and could delay your true recovery. Often I see guys relapse and continue to be caught in the porn trap because they doubt that porn is actually the problem, however, so if seeing a physician can help assure you that you need to live pornfree, then do it.
Even with porn I don’t get fully hard anymore.
This is not unusual with severe PIED. Consistent porn use numbs us to sexual stimulation and requires more extreme, specific, and/or varied content to arouse us as time goes on. Eventually, you can so wear out your system that it becomes impossible to get a strong erection even for porn. This doesn’t mean that your case is hopeless. You will still recover, but it may indeed take longer than for the average rebooter.
Most people talk about their struggles to resist porn but for the last 3 weeks (I just started this journey) I have no urges to fap and almost no libido.
The struggles will come. What you’re experiencing now is likely a flatline, a period in which your libido is very low, your genitals may feel numb or shrunken, and your mood may be depressed as well. This is normal and temporary, part of the healing process. Be prepared for when your libido returns, because it will in time.
I suspect my recovery will last a little bit longer. Also a specific question: Should I give myself a little rest from erections for few weeks or months or should I start rewiring process with real girls right away?
Rewiring can mean many things. Especially if you don’t get much social contact with women now, rewiring can be as simple and innocent as hanging out, chatting, laughing together, etc. There’s no good reason to delay that sort of social rewiring where you’re just hanging out, having fun, making friends, etc.
If an attractive dating opportunity comes along, I suggest being open to that as well, but allow yourself to take things slowly. Ideally, you should be out of a flatline and experiencing physical arousal while kissing, cuddling, etc. before attempting sex.